One year ago today...

I had a rough night last night. Payton has a cold and he was so stuffed up that the only way he could sleep was to sleep sitting up, so I was up with him most of the night sitting in a chair, and sucking out his nose with that horrible blue thing they give you at the hospital. This morning while I was rocking him, I felt strangely grateful for the experience. One year ago today, Steve's niece Kadie passed away. As I held my child in my arms I thought of Kelly, Steve's sister, and I wondered what she would give to do what I'm doing right now.
One year ago today, I stood next to Kadie's hospital bed and held her warm hand and said good bye. It was a strange experience because they were keeping her "alive" to harvest her organs, but she technically was dead. Her chest was rising and falling, her heart was beating, and she was pink and warm. I kept wanting to feel in my heart that she was still going to make it, but we all knew she wasn't, so it was time to say good bye. And that's what we all did.
Watching a mother lose her child is the most heart breaking experience I have ever witnessed in my whole life. They let Kelly lay in bed with her daughter for most of the day, so she could say good bye in her own way and the sight was almost more than anyone could bear.
At her viewing a few days later, we were all waiting for the viewing to begin and Steve nudged me to look at what was happening right in front of us... Cooper was laying on his back, giggling, and squirming all over and we just really felt impressed that Kadie was playing with her cousin one last time. She always loved to play with the kids, and was the first one to want to hold the babies!
The first time the Clark family got together after the funeral, I realized how much I really did miss her. I felt so lonely and I realized it was because she wasn't there. I realized then, that we always sat next to each other, and chatted, and ate and it was then that I realized that I didn't just lose a niece, I lost a friend.
My grandma gave me a really good piece of advise the morning of my wedding. My grandpa had been gone for 16 years, and they were truly in love. My grandma said,"your grandpa would come home from work everyday and take off his work boots and leave his lunch pail right in front of the front door everyday and everyday I would yell at him, 'John put your boots and pail away' what I wouldn't give to see those boots and pail in front of the door now, don't let yourself get upset about the small things, because once they are gone, those are the things you miss." Thank you grandma!
So today, hug your kids a little tighter, and give your husbands a kiss that they will remember! Life's too short to not.

As we like to call him...Squishy

Well here is a little blast from the past. This little outfit was originally worn by Steve himself! We think it's a classic! Batter Up!
Brothers hanging out in the morning!

Happy nudey! Oh I wish I could still touch my toes!

Well we hate to brag, but I believe this picture speaks for itself...he's a genius!!
What a cute little bug, he seems to be growing at mock speed! My memory may be fuzzy, but it seemed like Cooper couldn't even stand in this little exerciser until he was like 6 months old. What a happy kid!

OUR FAVORITE JAMMIES

We love these jammies, we could just eat him up everytime he wears them! And as always a cute little smile on this chubby little face! Payton has turned out to be a wonderful baby! It's not hard to get him to smile and if he is on his feet and jumping then he just couldn't be happier!

My Lovely Wife

I just wanted to share a picture with you all to show aff how beautiful my wife is when she is pregnant with our children. I love her more than words could express. She is my lifesaver...

Steve what you didn't know...

My best friend Lonna recently posted some unknown facts about her husband James in honor of Father's Day. I read them to Steve and we both really enjoyed them and thought they were really funny and then Steve said he didn't have anything like that, I beg to differ...so here is my list of things you may not know about Steve.
1. He has the softest feet I have ever felt, this is something I am incredibly jealous of seeing as I have the roughest feet I have ever felt.
2. He has an amazing singing voice and was in Showtime choir at Ricks College, and performed in a group called KC and the sunshine kids. They traveled the country performing. He has performed at a World's Fair and for 2 US presidents.
3. In the 18 years he has had a driver's license he has owned 12 cars.
4. He broke his sternum playing football in high school. Pressing my head against it makes him drop like a sack of potatoes, it is my only defense against him tickling my feet.
5. He is a really great cook, and he never follows a recipe! He's actually worse when he has directions in front of him.
6. When he was 5 or 6 his mom enrolled him in ballet, and his instructor told his mom that if she took him to New York he would be cast immediately...she never told him this because she knew he would be embarrassed.
7. He is an award winning photographer, several times over.
8. He cried while he took my bridal pictures.
9. He cried when we were married.
10. He cried when we found out we were pregnant, at our ultrasound, and during the birth.
11. He cried during the Notebook, you get the picture...
12. He loves to go hunting, ok that's something that everyone knows, but he has a great respect and love for the animals that he is hunting. He hunts to help preserve the species, not just to kill something and I respect him for that.
13. He dated a woman who was 15 years older than him and had 2 kids.
14. He has night rage, which at the time isn't funny but we always have a good laugh about it in the morning.
15. He loves waterparks.
16. He got shin splints dancing in cowboy boots while performing in Tuacahn in St. George.
17. He always lets me decide what movie we get to see when we actually get to go and see a movie.
18. He taught me how to fly fish, and outfitted me with all of the equipment...you should see me in my waders.
19. He was engaged once before me, and always lets me know that he's glad that it didn't work out.
20. He has kissed over 125 girls, what a lip slut!!
21. As a result of all that practicing he is a very good kisser.
22. He can't cut his own toenails without injuring himself.
23. He would pass up dessert for another helping of mashed potatoes.
24. He eats the pepper that comes with your Papa John's pizza...who does that?
25. He has so much love for his boys and for me. He lets us know all the time how much he loves us and we love him for that!!

Happy Father's Day Steve, you make me proud everyday that you are Cooper and Payton's Dad!!! I love you!